Hand that changed everything

Where would I begin, Ha it was a long one, Met in some event , No more like fate has brought upon me to meet her. At that time, I really don’t know that was the fates hand. It’s funny how we began our journey.

From being two soulless,
emotionless people, I and
her met. She opened
something deep within, which
I thought I would never experience,
let alone it happened.
Its kind of mixed emotions really.
To care for something, whats within
infront of you
To love for something whats within
infront of you
To be able to lit the fire,
To show others the correct way,
To help others ,( or so I would thought).
Yet again , For what you have
given me, I cannot repay you.
It’s something that I cannot repay
fully.
Like to my closed ones, the debt to
You, will always be there.
To fly higher than before,
To not to bow down to anything,
To fight the evil,
To ran away from jealousy,
To be able to understand more of this world.

For I know one thing, I was a monster really,
not that I have become angel or something better.
To comprehend everything, To understand
everything that is out there, To learn
about people, to accept them
Its a long journey.

I hope ,
somewhere between our journey
we may meet again…

Significance of life

It's a work in progress

How did it come into this ? This exquisite feeling of being aware of everything that is around me, a state completely devoid of me, well not completely but there are still reminiscences of me lingers around me.

Yet I cannot claim it completely as I still got up in this narcotic feeling, still cluttered around in my soul and my surroundings. While I search for words to come, to describe the situation more accurately, I look at myself, my fingers, my nails, and the evidence of masaladosa, and the music that rings in my ear, the singer’s voice, the background music, the instruments. And my tendency to change the song, which is triggered by something which is not know yet, but it’s within my grasp of understanding.

State of the mind

The situation, as it stands right now, is nothingness. A feeling of complete emptiness or not, it’s something different. I could see the plane that is soaring in the sky and a crow, who is there, but for what? And I could see people doing things which they believe is something they oat to do.

Where was I? In between, I had to update this software and went for searching for a new laptop? For me? Or for just the neurotic feeling. Earlier I would say, I am lost, what I am supposed to do and what the fuck I am doing right now.

I remembered, I was hoping for something to write, a cheesy one liner for my amusement and to get that high feeling when people appreciate what I have written. Then again I am still struck, messages are popping up, I feel like I am writing for the need ? No, need a better word, I feel like I am writing something to accomplish an idea or a feeling or just for the sake of writing it.

I am a fool, looking for a meaning, a sense of purpose, a sense of security. Limiting myself to mere words and description of those. It was never nothingness, It’s something else, something extraordinary beyond words, But it’s something only known, when one is truly aware.

Inevitable

Hey big guy, If it wasn’t for the mortals, we would have become invincible.

Hear me out

As the pillar of my conscious mind start to crumble, I want to run to your side, to lend me a hand.
But as I start to call you for help, visions of past with my precious will go through my mind.
And I am afraid, if I took the same path again, I would loose another precious of mine.
You are still a child, a child witch, I want you to grow, create peace in this world, spread your inexhaustible energy to this world, and at some point I want you to realise the remarkable person you are by yourself.
When I think about myself, I also want to grow, I want to grow with you by your side. But I would only do it, if you allowed.
Then again, I would like to spent the days by your side, tell each other lame jokes, talk about things which connect us, I don’t care, what we talk or even if we don’t talk or even I fall asleep.
There may be days and nights, in which we don’t talk to each other, let alone be at your side. But whenever I can, I would come to your side.

MIRROR

You have come so far my friend .
….Ye..s.
Wake up ? I would like to ask you a question ?
(wakes up )..Go ahead.
Whats the one thing that you miss being a child ?
huh, I used to live my life fully. But with uncertainties that struck on my path, I started to have doubts on my actions and….
And ?
I started to contain myself and my emotions. Before I know it, I lost my will to open up.
But you learned many things through your journey.
I did and I started to understand this world.
Good, Now ready up we have go to resume our journey.

Hey there pt 1

Hey there,

I have been looking at you for a while,

as you would come every night,

staring at something with your cold eyes,

many are enthralled about it

yet unknowingly you keep your admirers at bay.

you are all alone in that world of yours,

it remind me of someone,

hey there,

can I sit beside you ?

A friend of mine

It was raining all around and beside me there was this person who was very fond of it. It lit up her eyes, like an all joyous feeling within her had risen up. She walked into that intense rain, like it was calling to her. To know what made her do that, I went along. And then she spoke.

Go away !

Okay .

Will you do anything that I say..!

ha..

As I began to walk away from her, she dragged me outside again. She started to fill her cupped hands with the pouring rain, but before she could throw it in my face, I had already thrown a handful on hers. And we started playing in that rain. But as time passed, she started to move away from me and started to dance in that rain. It seemed as if she cared for nothing, she was just being herself in that moment. Dancing and singing in that rain with all those graceful movements, it was a sight to watch.

I watched her from afar, astounded. I looked at her and wondered to myself, why did I hate that girl once, quite literally, totally hated her. Her voice, her presence, it didn’t make sense.

Yet all I saw in those eyes, was herself. All this time, I really hadn’t put my heart into her or even tried to look at her from her side. I laughed and looked at the sky, in the end it happened anyway. I looked at her, she was being herself in her world. It went on raining, and so did her dance. Soon a familiar feeling had risen, to not be in that world of hers and I walked away from there.

As I walked through the rain. I felt something , “damn why did I leave her alone in that rain?”. Quickly, I made my way to her, by that time it had stoped raining. And there she was sitting alone, gazing into the unknown. I sat beside her and asked.

what happened ?

When I got into this college, I dreamed of leaving it together with my lover.

ooh. Tell me ? you might not have gotten what you wished for. But you’ve got yourself a handful of friends who will be with you for the rest of your life.

True.

Isn’t it better that way.

What an Idiot, I thought to myself. Then again I couldn’t help her from feeling that way, as I had kept myself at a distance from her, but it was for other reasons. Nevertheless, we shared many memories. And sometimes there will be constant nagging and beatings between us, the never-ending kind. Perhaps it is a trait we share. Above all She is a beautiful person and a fool and also an idiot.

And now that person has left on her journey. Its not like I miss that person now, but at some point I know I will miss her. And when that happens, I know what I have to do. For now it’s her jounery, let her discover herself through her own path. No matter what, she will be always my friend…

Emotions III

• 

“In the melancholy of this moment. Its like a river, that slowly pass through its course. There is no longer you in that, its only me now. A peace of mind, a bliss of moment that I yearn most. A world of mine alone”

Abhay

And what more do you need ? Won’t you talk to me like the two people we used to..

Emotions II

It has became a dessert, when you left me there.

All the glitters and promises , All has turned into mirages. And there are still glimpse of wonders in that world, but they no longer excites me. Now it is just a dessert. A land which connects the worlds, but it will trap you there, if you indulge yourself in that land.

A choice was given to me, when you left me there, to either live in that world or come out of it. later is the toughest to do, but I know its the right one